Jason Collins’ Courage

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In a bold display of personal courage, Jason Collins of the NBA has become the first openly-gay athlete in the four major North American sports. While I respect that this is truly a watershed moment for sports and LGBTQ rights, it would be a great disservice not to acknowledge the many athletes before Collins who have made gains for LGBTQ rights and visibility:

Billie-Jean King. Greg Louganis. Brendan Burke. Martina Navratilova. Mark Tewksbury. Johnny Weir. Orlando Cruz. John Amaechi. Wade Davis. Alan Gendreau. Matthew Mitcham. Esera Tuaolo. Brian Orser. And many, many more.

(This isn’t meant to be a complete list – you can go to wikipedia for that, although I’m sure their list is far from complete either. And yes, I did check that list to fill in my previous paragraph.)

Even though he’s far from the first, Collins’ gesture is important for its context. The four major sports in North America (baseball, basketball, football and hockey) perpetuate the myth that professional sports is the domain of the hyper-masculine, where only the manliest of the manly men can compete. This is why every other sport has long since accepted gay and lesbian athletes, where the big four have not; not only that, but it also seems that women’s sports are miles ahead.

It’s not surprising that there are more female athletes who have come out as lesbians, than there are male athletes who have come out as gay. When Brittany Griner, the 1st overall pick in the recent WNBA Draft, announced she was a lesbian, the world barely shrugged, and went back to ignoring the WNBA as it has for years; but Collins’ announcement has made headlines in every news outlet in North America.

Ultimately, this speaks to the pervasive sexism that still exists in sports, and how we regard sports as a strongly-masculine pursuit. A lesbian athlete who is attracted to women more readily fits the stereotypes we assign to athletes – tough, powerful, strong, etc – all of which are terms we associate with masculinity. Gay men are stereotypically associated with femininity and weakness, rather than masculinity and strength – though the Ancient Greeks would be quick to disagree!

So, this is why Collins’ courage matters so much. He is not simply speaking out against homophobia, but also speaking out against the sexist undertones that encourage homophobia – and as I wrote in my previous article about Yunel Escobar, the line differentiating homophobia from misogyny is very blurry indeed. The underlying message behind homophobia is that the worst thing a man can do is to adopt the behaviours of a woman, which is at the root of all misogynistic sexism.

Even as Collins breaks down this barrier, we must also acknowledge another list that is growing every day – athletes who identify as trans, and transition during or before their athletic career:

Renee Richards. Kye Allums. Michelle Dumaresq. Keelen Godsey. Fallon Fox. Lana Lawless. Kristen Worley. And many, many more.

Again, this list is hardly exhaustive, and in time, will grow longer. More barriers will be broken. More athletes will find compassion and inclusion among their sports and their teams. Eventually, and hopefully, nobody will even care.

Collins’ courage is just one more step in a journey that will force me to change the first line of my article – instead of using the term “gay athlete” to describe players like Collins, we’ll soon be calling them “athletes who happen to be gay”.

Or hopefully, someday, just “athletes.”

Turning Words Into Action: The Autism Art Auction

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At the beginning of Autism Awareness Month, I wrote about the need to incorporate families into the treatment of people with autism. My hope was to illuminate the fact that services for people with autism, while improved, are still lacking in many areas. As Autism Awareness Month comes to a close, and we move into May, it’s time to go beyond the usual paradigm of raising awareness, and start taking action.

Raising awareness is often a good first step, and functions well as a means to an end – but it cannot be viewed as an end in itself. Activism simply does not end with the sharing of a Facebook post, or a retweet; it’s great to tell your friends that something is important enough to share with them, but it’s virtually meaningless if it doesn’t lead to further action.

My friend once referred to this phenomenon as “slacktivism” – and pointed out, quite rightly, that it can actually be counterproductive. Once you’ve shared a status update or a link, you might feel that you’ve already done your part, which absolves you of the responsibility to do anything more. But until you’ve put genuine time and effort into helping a cause, you really haven’t done much. In fact, if you feel that sharing a link has lifted the burden of action from you, then you’ll actually be even less likely to contribute to a cause when it matters most.

To that end, the Ontario Autism Coalition, in collaboration with the AllTalkTV.com Network, launched the First Annual Autism Art Auction last week. We have raised awareness about the need for a crisis centre and crisis-specific services, in hopes that it would encourage the government to act; until they do so, we will attempt to raise the funds ourselves. We encouraged people with autism to donate their various works of art, which we are now auctioning off to raise funds for our crisis centre.

We will continue to accept donations and bids until Saturday, May 4, and we encourage you to visit the website for the Autism Art Auction and bid on a piece from one of our amazingly-talented donor artists. By doing so, you will be simultaneously rewarding creativity and helping an important cause, while making a meaningful statement that shows you truly care about improving services for people with autism.

The famous quote attributed to Gandhi doesn’t say to “share the status update of the change you want to see in the world.” The quote tells us to BE that change, which involves so much more than simply sharing it on social media. If you can’t go beyond the virtual realm and actually do something about it, you really don’t care that much about it at all.

Sex Brains & Money, episode 9

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After a far-too-long winter hiatus, I’m delighted to be back with the AllTalkTV.com Network as the host of Sex Brains & Money! We’ve moved to a new studio (Fitzgerald’s Public House in The Beaches) and I decided to start the second season in the same way we started the first – with Terri-Jean Beford as my guest!

First, I had to do a bit of housekeeping, and talk about BonBon’s absence:

Followed by Terri-Jean reading a passage from her second book, “Bondage Bungalow Fantasies”:

Terri-Jean also stuck around for another segment, where she told us about the upcoming Supreme Court hearings regarding the sex work laws:

Finally, I closed out the show with a few more details on the Supreme Court hearings:

Check out the episode and let me know what you think! :-)

On World Autism Awareness Day, let’s focus on families too

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At the coffee shop, 10-year-old Clara sits across from me, trying not to let the frustration show on her face. Her curly locks bounce about her head, her normally-infectious smile is fleeting and wistful, and she asks me the question that defines our conversation in a single line.

“Do you know,” she asks, “What it’s like to have to call the police, because your brother’s threatening your father with a knife?”

As I ponder the question, the memories flood my mind in all-too-vivid detail, and I nod my head.

**********

Clara’s brother Cliff is a 13-year-old boy with a passion for baseball and Mario Kart, and they live with their loving parents, Laura and Bruce. They have a Black Labrador Retriever service dog named Basil, who’s also one of BonBon’s best friends. But our interactions are guided by one factor beyond anyone’s control – Cliff has autism, which means he’s prone to meltdowns. These meltdowns, which vary in frequency and intensity, can come about without notice or prior warning, and can quickly escalate into a highly-volatile situation. It’s a situation that I’m all too familiar with myself, having a younger brother with the same condition; and here Clara and I sit, at a corner table in a coffee shop, while Cliff and Laura are on the other side of the building trying to head off another one of Cliff’s meltdowns. All we can do is wait, and as we brace for the inevitable, I remember what it was like to be in Clara’s shoes.

**********

Video games. It always seemed to revolve around video games. For whatever reason, they always seemed to light the fuse and send my own brother on the spiral towards a total loss of control. I remember the time that he lost a game of Super Mario Land, and in a rage, pounded his Gameboy against his forehead and shattered the screen. I remember the time that he broke the keyboard of the family computer by smashing it with his fist, because he thought the computer was cheating him at Number Munchers. I remember the time he bit into his own arm so badly that he drew blood, leaving a nasty round mark that lasted for weeks. The shattered stovetop from when he smashed it with a frying pan. The holes in the drywall from when he punched through the wall. The memories of my brother’s meltdowns are vivid and powerful, and they flow back to me as Clara tells me about life with Cliff.

**********

Support for people with autism has grown in recent years, but is still badly lacking in many ways. A few weeks ago, Cliff had a meltdown in Promenade Mall, and no hospital would admit him. The wait lists for therapists are unbelievably long, and as families struggle to arrange care for their children with autism, their siblings often end up feeling ignored or neglected. Clara conveys this to me during our conversation, wondering if it’s ok to feel upset about it. “It’s like it’s all about Cliff, all the time, and I feel like my own needs are always secondary.” I reassure her that it doesn’t make her a bad person to feel like she deserves more attention than she receives, and I remember how guilty I felt years ago, as I tried to articulate those same feelings to my own parents. I love my brother, but I hated having to leave Canada’s Wonderland after 45 minutes because he couldn’t control himself. For a moment, Clara and I lock eyes, as we both recall the times we felt cheated by a situation we had no control over, and felt resentment and anger over the situation. We both knew it wasn’t our respective brothers’ faults, but that didn’t make things any easier to deal with.

**********

As our conversation continues, Laura decides Cliff needs to leave the coffee shop immediately, as he continues to escalate. He reaches out and tries to punch the support worker who’s recently started working with Laura’s family, and Laura gets up and takes Cliff outside. She asks me to give Clara a ride home, and I readily agree, assuring her I’ll spend time with her until Cliff is under control. Our conversation turns to video games, artwork, nail polish – there’s an unspoken understanding between us now, and the mood lightens considerably. As we chat about puppies and cartoons, her smile returns, her curls bounce around her head, and she’s just back to being a normal 10-year-old girl.

**********

The entire incident reminds me of how vital family is in the care of youth with disabilities, and autism in particular. Parents and siblings do the front-line work, and have to identify potentially-volatile situations before they erupt. It’s a full-time, daunting job, and requires its own set of support structures to ensure success. In this regard, the system is badly lacking, and those support structures are virtually non-existent. Today, on World Autism Awareness Day, I propose expanding our approach to the therapy and care of youth with autism, focusing on three main areas:

1) Autism needs to be viewed holistically, with an integrated approach that involves the entire family. It’s not enough to just give the kids drugs and hope they work, because when they don’t, it’s the family members who become the first responders. It’s important that every member of the family feels included, and not left out because all the attention seems to be focused on one member; integrating families into the care of youth with autism is a vital aspect of treatment that is often ignored.

2) Services need to be age-specific and tailored to the specific needs of different individuals. People with autism show a very wide range of functionality, with some requiring constant care and others just needing a bit of direction. There are services for young children and some services for adults, but for youth in their teens, there’s a real lack of understanding. This needs to be addressed.

3) There is a dire need for a crisis center for people with autism, because the existing services are unable to cope with the need for nuance and understanding. There needs to be a concerted effort to train health-care professionals, law enforcement officials, and other first responders, to reduce the potential for harm involved with meltdowns similar to the ones Cliff and my brother experience. A crisis centre with specifically-trained personnel, as well as facilities to help youth with autism and their families cope with stressful situations, would go a very long way towards helping everyone involved.

The most recent estimates suggest that one in every one hundred people is afflicted with some form of autism, and the number appears to increase every year. When factoring in families and loved ones, it is clear that this condition affects our entire society, and requires significant commitments from communities, politicians, and health care professionals. Some politicians, including Peter Shurman (the MPP from Thornhill) have pushed for a crisis centre in Ontario. But clearly, more needs to be done.

We cannot allow people with autism and their families to continue without support, without structures in place to help them cope. We cannot permit children like Cliff and Clara to be swept aside. We must find a way to give people the support they need. We can start by signing this petition to create a crisis centre in Ontario. After all, anything has to be better than having a ten-year-old girl calling the cops on her brother.

On World Autism Awareness Day, let’s stand up for our sisters and brothers, our daughters and our sons, and find a way to help families dealing with autism get the support we desperately need.

Rob Ford, Sarah Thomson, and the Ever-Shifting Burden of Proof

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Seriously now, when will this sideshow end? Every time it feels like things can’t possibly get any worse, Toronto politics finds a way to stoop to a new low. Rob Ford is engaged in yet another race to the bottom, one that he appears to be losing (or winning? I honestly can’t tell the difference anymore). It’s really just sad to watch.

The one thing that I’ve found most distressing is that nobody – and I mean nobody – has gone out of their way to actually defend Rob Ford. Sure, his supporters are attacking Sarah Thomson relentlessly, to varying degrees of vitriol and vigour, but there’s nobody saying, “Oh, Ford’s too much of a stand-up guy to do that.” It seems Ford’s public record is at least enough to make people think there might be some truth to the story. Or, as I tweeted a few days ago:

Nonetheless, it’s interesting to examine the attacks on Sarah Thomson, and the painfully-flawed logic behind them. Here are a couple of the standouts:

“She’s a politician, therefore she’s a liar and an opportunist.”

Ummm, what exactly is Rob Ford if not a politician? If politicians are liars and opportunists, then wouldn’t the automatic assumption be that Ford is also a liar? One would think that better politicians make for better liars; given that he’s the more successful politician of the two, wouldn’t that make him more likely to be the one who’s actually lying? His track record of proven, documented lies (Leafs game, anyone?) just makes this argument all the more ridiculous.

“If she was genuinely assaulted, she should have gone to the police right away.”

One’s immediate response to an assault, in and of itself, does not prove or disprove the actual allegation. Our legal system applies a certain burden of proof to all adjudicated matters, and sexual assault requires the same proof as other criminal charges – proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Given all the ambiguity surrounding the situation, there’s little to no hope of meeting that requirement in criminal proceedings, so I can understand why Sarah Thomson wouldn’t want to go that route. Not to mention the ordeal of a trial is often as traumatizing as the assault itself, sometimes more so; just ask a survivor of sexual assault if you’d like to know the reality behind it.

“Ford should sue her for defamation and make her prove it in court.”

First off, the onus of proof is on the person who files the suit, not the person who defends it. Even then, civil proceedings carry their own burden of proof; in most cases, it’s a balance of probabilities, meaning you have to prove your case just a bit better than your opponent. You have to prove that your position is more than 50% likely to be true, which is a much lower threshold than reasonable doubt. (That’s why O.J. Simpson was acquitted of criminal charges, but found legally responsible for Nicole Simpson’s death in the ensuing civil case.) Again, there’s too much ambiguity for a civil trial to have any hope of success; Ford would have to prove that he didn’t commit the actions Thomson has claimed, and simply attacking her character wouldn’t be enough.

“I’ve always said, I don’t know if she’s playing with a full deck.”

This gem comes from Ford himself, choosing a unique form of ad hominem attack that is often reserved for women accusing men of sexual inappropriateness. But this argument doesn’t actually prove or disprove anything. Whether one is sane or not has no bearing on whether they might have been victimized by sexual impropriety, and his statement does nothing to disprove the actual allegation. Being sane and being a victim are not mutually exclusive, which means he said it for no other reason than to attack her character.

Which brings us to the last (and most popular) attack on Thomson worth examining here:

“She’s just part of a leftist conspiracy.”

When all else fails, put on a tin-foil hat and blame it on the conspiracy. But it’s really worth examining the true meaning of the statement, and what it says about how sexual assault claims are treated. Exactly what burden of proof do we require before we believe a woman who claims assault? Not simply a balance of probabilities, or even proof beyond a reasonable doubt; we demand unquestionable and indisputable evidence, akin to a perfectly-clear video recording; anything less is simply deemed to be part of a conspiracy.

Here we have a man of privilege and power, a well-documented liar, a man who is believed to have lied under oath. A man who has been captured on video being verbally abusive to colleagues or opponents, as well as physically threatening reporters and bystanders. There are records of police coming to his home to attend to domestic disputes, he has been arrested while in the possession of illegal substances, admitted he flipped off a woman who told him not to use his cell phone while driving, and has been widely reported as rude, abusive and willing to lie his way out of almost anything. And yet, even with a history like Rob Ford’s:

It seems that the court of public opinion requires a higher burden of proof than any other court in the land.

Seven things I’ve learned about owning a puppy in a condo

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When I was growing up, my family had a wonderful Black Lab, who touched all our lives in so many ways. Blacky lived to be nearly 15 years old, and when he finally passed on, it was like we all lost a piece of our heart.

Now in my early 30s, I recently made a decision to adopt a beautiful Chocolate Lab puppy. BonBon has brought that same energy and love into my new home, but I’ve noticed a few major differences in how we look after her. When I grew up with Blacky, my family lived in a large house with a backyard, but my current home is a condo unit. Here are seven things that every condo-living prospective dog owner should think about when deciding to bring a puppy into their home:

1) Get to know your breed before you choose a puppy. Some dogs are more energetic than others, and it’s not necessarily anything to do with their size; a small Havanese (a very high-energy dog) might require more exercise than a huge Mastiff (which is just a big couch potato). Websites like Dogs 101 from Animal Planet make for a great place to start, and if you want to learn about the relationship between humans and dogs, I highly recommend “And Man Created Dog” by National Geographic.

2) Check your condo’s policies on dog ownership. Some condos restrict the size of dogs to nothing larger than 30 pounds, while others ban dog ownership entirely. It’s critical that you find out the policies before you bring a dog into your building, because disputes between condo boards and dog owners can get highly acrimonious very quickly; you don’t want a silly policy to threaten to separate you from your loving companion.

3) When housetraining, keep a set of clothes near your bed so you can take your dog out quickly. Sometimes a few seconds can be the difference between a successful bathroom trip outside, and an accident on the carpet. Having my clothes nearby meant that I could get up and out of the unit quickly, which made a big difference in how fast BonBon could get to the grass. More successful bathroom trips outside lead to greater confidence in a puppy’s bathroom skills, which in turn, lead to fewer stains on the carpet. It’s not like you can just open the back door and send the dog into the yard; in a condo, every puppy bathroom break involves getting fully dressed and ready for the outdoors. Admittedly, taking the puppy out in nice weather is a lot easier, and winter presents its own unique challenges; if my neighbours knew how many times I took BonBon outside in the middle of the night, wearing nothing but snowpants and my winter coat… Well, I’d probably be a lot more popular around the condo!

4) Don’t be afraid to do crate-training, but be sure to do it properly. Crate-training a dog can alleviate a lot of potential problems, and a properly crate-trained dog will feel happy and secure in its crate. They will think of it as a safe space that it has some ownership of, almost like it’s their own room, or den. They will avoid making a mess inside their crate and it can be very helpful in housebreaking your puppy. However, it’s crucial to use the crate for the proper purposes. NEVER place a dog in its crate as a means of disciplining the dog for bad behaviour, because it will quickly begin to associate the crate with punishment, and will become anxious and fearful of being placed in the crate. Make sure the dog’s crate is a happy place, filled with treats and toys, that the dog enjoys being in; one tip is to put your dog’s food and water bowls in the crate, to make it that much more appealing.

5) Locate nearby parks with off-leash areas, and socialize your dog frequently. You’d be surprised how many parks in Toronto have off-leash areas, and they’re becoming popular in other areas as well. These are great places for your puppy to learn how to interact with other dogs. One of the biggest problems for a dog living in a condo is the lack of time spent with other dogs; check out the City of Toronto’s website for a list of off-leash areas near you. Just make sure your puppy has all her shots before you expose her to dog parks!

6) If you’re buying a new condo, remember that lower is better! There’s nothing worse than waiting for the elevator on the 20th floor, as your dog desperately tries to avoid an accident… If you live on a lower floor, get used to taking the stairs instead. We’re on a lower floor in our building so it’s quite easy to take BonBon out when she needs to go, and we don’t have to wait for the elevator to reach us – we just trot down the stairs and let her do her business outside.

7) Dogs are dirty, filthy, gross, disgusting creatures. Some of the things your dog does will appall you at the most visceral level, and you’ll find yourself absolutely sickened by some of your dog’s behaviours… So if you’re a clean freak or a germaphobe, don’t even consider it! They’ll shed all over your furniture, track mud all over the building, and do things with their mouths and tongues that will disgust you completely – but they’ll also show you all the love in the world, and you’ll realize it’s totally worth it. :-)

Random puppy cuteness and life updates

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Hey everyone, sorry about my blogging hiatus over the past month or so… in addition to all the holiday insanity, I had to move to a new location this month, and it proved to be quite the ordeal! First off, the place that I was originally looking at needed more extensive renovations than expected, and the property management company wanted me to sign a form allowing them to finish renovations up to seven days AFTER my move-in date, and not finish cleaning it until another fourteen days had passed! So, basically, you want me to move in on the 1st, let you continue renovating for another week, and continue cleaning for another two weeks? Yeah, I don’t think I’m moving my things into an unrenovated and unclean location, under any circumstances!

Luckily, I found another place nearby, which was even nicer than the first, even though it has two more flights of stairs to climb… but that’s ok, it’ll just help keep me in shape! The move was a little more difficult than I’m used to, but we got everything settled last week, and now it’s back to business as usual.

As for other things in my life, BonBon continues to get bigger and feistier all the time, and we’ve been taking her to dog parks on a regular basis. She’s completely fearless when it comes to playing with other puppies, and no matter how much bigger than her a dog happens to be, she’ll keep tussling and wrestling with the dog until she’s made herself the dominant. She took on a Great Dane three times her size last week, and she had it on its back in about 30 seconds flat! You know what they say – it’s not the size of the dog in the fight that matters, but the size of the fight in the dog. ;)

We’re going to take her up north again this weekend for more playtime in the snow, I’ll post pics as soon as we take them. In the meantime, here are two absolutely adorable puppy-related things that I just had to post: the first is a Subaru commercial that made squeal from its excessive cuteness, and the other is a Letter From a Puppy that tugged on my heartstrings. Enjoy!

A letter from your puppy

J.D.Ellis 2001, rottweilerdriver@aol.com

I am your puppy:
To Whom it may concern:

I am your puppy, and I will love you until the end of the earth, but please know a few things about me. I am a puppy; this means that my intelligence and capacity for learning are the same as an 8-month-old child. I am a puppy; I will chew EVERYTHING I can get my teeth on. This is how I explore and learn about the world. Even HUMAN children put things in their mouths. It’s up to you to guide me to what is mine to chew and what is not.

I am a puppy; I cannot hold my bladder for longer than 1-2 hours. I cannot “feel” that I need to poop until it is actually beginning to come out. I cannot vocalize nor tell you that I need to go, and I cannot have ‘bladder” and bowel control until 6-9 months of age. Do not punish me if you have not let me out for 3 hours and I tinkle. It is your fault. As a puppy, it is wise to remember that I NEED to go potty after eating, sleeping, playing, drinking and around every 2-3 hours in addition. If you want me to sleep through the night, then do not give me water after 7or 8 pm. A crate will help me learn to housebreak easier, and will avoid you being mad at me. I am a puppy, accidents will happen, please be patient with me! In time I will learn.

I am a puppy I like to play. I will run around, and chase imaginary monsters, and chase your feet and your toes and ‘attack’ you, and chase fuzz balls, other pets, and small kids. It is play; it’s what I do. Do not be mad at me or expect me to be sedate, mellow and sleep all day. If my high energy level is too much for you, maybe you should consider an older rescue from a shelter or Rescue group. My play is beneficial, use your wisdom to guide me in my play with appropriate toys, and activities, like chasing a rolling ball, or gentle tug games, or plenty of chew toys for me. If I nip you too hard, talk to me in “dog talk”, by giving a loud YELP, I will usually get the message, as this is how dogs communicate with one another. If I get too rough, simply ignore me for a few moments, or put me in my crate with an appropriate chew toy. I am a puppy; hopefully you would not yell, hit or strike, kick, or beat a 6 month old human infant, so please do not do the same to me. I am delicate, and impressionable. If you treat me harshly now, I will grow up learning to fear being hit, spanked, kicked or beat. Instead, please guide me with encouragement and wisdom. For instance, If I am chewing something wrong, say “no chew!” and hand me a toy I can chew. Better yet, pick up ANYTHING that you don’t want me to get into. I can’t tell the difference between your old sock and your new sock, or an old sneaker and your 200.00 Nikes.

I am a puppy; and I am a creature with feelings and drives much like your own, but yet also very different. Although I am not human in a dog suit, neither am I an unfeeling robot who can instantly obey your every whim. I truly DO want to please you, and be a part of your family, and your life. You got me (I hope) because you want a loving partner and companion, so do not relegate me to the backyard when I get bigger, do not judge me harshly but instead mold me with gentleness and guidelines and training into the kind of family member you want me to be…

I am a puppy; and I am not perfect, and I know you are not perfect either. I love you anyway. So please, learn all you can about training, and puppy behaviors and caring for me from your veterinarian, books on dog care and even researching on the computer! Learn about my particular breed and it’s “characteristics”. This will give you understanding and insight into WHY I do all the things I do. Please teach me with love, patience, the right way to behave and socialize me with training in a puppy class or obedience class, we will BOTH have a lot of fun together.

I am a puppy and I want more than anything to love you, to be with you, and to please you. Won’t you please take time to understand how I work? We are the same you and I, in that we both feel hunger, pain, thirst, discomfort, fear, but yet we are also very different and must work to understand one another’s language, body signals, wants and needs. Some day I will be a handsome dog, hopefully one you can be proud of and one that you will love as much as I love you.

Love,
your puppy

May be reposted and shared freely as long as this credit appears with the post given to J.D.Ellis 2001, rottweilerdriver@aol.com.

BonBon in the snow

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BonBon is almost six months old now, and just about to enjoy her first winter. We decided to spend the weekend up in Huntsville, and took her on a few hiking trails in Algonquin Provincial Park. She had never seen snow before, and she loved it! It was almost a foot deep and pretty much up to her belly, but she romped through it with great delight, only stopping to make sure her human companions weren’t falling too far behind.

Here are some of the best pics of our weekend up north, including a very unique picture we took as we were leaving the park – two moose having an intimate moment by the side of the road! We didn’t want to get too close (bull moose are VERY protective of their mates at this time of year) but we took another pic of them after they saw our car and scurried off into the bushes – I assume they picked up right where they left off after we drove away. ;)


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When the “Spirit of Giving” Overcomes the “Spirit of Getting”

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When I was growing up, I really enjoyed Christmas. I loved tobagganing in the park down the street, having a big fire in the fireplace, and of course, having two weeks off from school. But as I got older, the so-called “Christmas Spirit” started to wane, and eventually disappeared altogether. It was replaced by strong feelings of disdain towards the commercialization of the holiday, and a general malaise would overcome me every year. I couldn’t stand the sound of Christmas music, I hated fighting for parking spots at the mall, and anxiety over whether I had purchased appropriate gifts for friends and family became overwhelming. In a nutshell, I really started to hate Christmas. It became a symbol of greed and consumption, rather than a joyous holiday event.

As another December dawned last year, I found myself dreading the holidays once again, and I agonized over “what to buy” for my family. Should I get my dad another tie he’ll never wear, or another tool he’ll never use? Should I get my mom some more scented candles that she’ll never light, or more exotic bath soaps to display on her bathroom counter? Will my brothers and I pick out random stores to buy gifts cards from, or will we do the same thing as we had before – exchange generic and impersonal Christmas cards with exactly the same amount of money in them? The whole exercise seemed so pointless and so painful, I was all but ready to give up on it completely.
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Sex Brains & Money – Episode 8

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Great episode today! BonBon the chocolate lab puppy is getting so big, I don’t think I’ll be able to have her in my lap anymore. But she was a wonderful Santa’s Little Helper today, while I was talking about how a friend of mine helped me rediscover the holiday spirit last year, by encouraging me to give money to charity instead of buying pointless gifts for friends and family:

Also, an interview with a client! Christian decided to join me today to talk about how he started visiting escorts, and what he likes about seeing sex workers:

Next, an interview with Helen Lee of The Living City Foundation, talking about her organization’s holiday gifts, and the importance of supporting local causes:

Finally, I closed out the show with a little bit more about giving to charity during the holidays: